Please Don't Go
by celestial-irondad
Summary: Peter copes after Tony's death.


_Nobody ever knows _

_Nobody ever sees _

_I left my soul _

_Back there_

"Mr. Stark?" Peter couldn't breathe, like someone crushed his windpipe. "Hey, Mr. Stark."

Please be okay, please be okay, please be okay.

The tears welling in Peter's eyes felt like knives. "Can you hear me? It's Peter."

Don't leave me, Mr. Stark. I can't do this without you.

"Hey, we won, Mr. Stark," Peter cries. "We won, Mr. Stark."

So, stay with me. Continue mentoring me, teaching me all that I still need to know.

"We won," Peter repeated, to reassure Mr. Stark or himself, he wasn't sure, but he kept babbling anyway. "You did it, sir. You did it."

Peter couldn't breathe, couldn't think, couldn't move. Why did it have to be Mr. Stark? He just got reunited with him. And of course, to him, it wasn't a long time, but Mr. Stark probably suffered in those five years without him.

And as he heard Mr. Stark's breathing slow, his mind blanked. He stopped functioning.

No. No, no, no.

How could he let Mr. Stark go like this? It was all his fault. He never should've let Mr. Stark fight the ugly purple grape alone. Never should've let him wield the gauntlet by himself. How could he be so selfish?

"I'm sorry, Tony," Peter whispered, not trusting his voice to not crack.

Oh, how Peter wished he wasn't bitten by the spider. How he wished he didn't have his stupid enhanced hearing, because listening...

Listening to Mr. Stark's heartbeat fade as Ms. Potts reassures him is the most painful thing that Peter has to ever experience. To ever endure.

But Peter couldn't stop listening to his heartbeat. Because as long as Mr. Stark's heart was beating, it meant that he was alive. So he kept listening.

Listening, as his mentor's heartbeat faded into nothing. Listening, as the world faded into nothing, into complete silence.

Because what is the point of living without Mr. Stark? What is existence without Mr. Stark? What is his life without Mr. Stark?

_Now I'm too weak. _

—

_Most nights I pray for_

_You to come home. _

Peter was out on patrol again. He knew he wasn't in the state of mind to be helping others, because quite frankly, he needed help.

He couldn't sleep and barely ate. Aunt May was worried sick, seeing Peter already so weak but going out on the streets to save random people he didn't even know.

Truth to be told, Peter felt guilty. He knew Mr. Stark's death wasn't his fault. At all. But he still kept himself accountable. So he saved others. Saved them from the dangers of the world. Protected them, because he couldn't do that for Tony.

But there were moments when he couldn't pretend to be strong. When he needed to be comforted, guided.

Of course, there was Aunt May, but no matter how amazing she is, Tony was the one who taught him. Taught him the rules about being a hero. Taught him how to be a hero.

Aunt May didn't understand how hard it was, even if she was there when Peter cried.

He just wanted Mr. Stark back. To joke with him, to make pop culture references with him, to tinker in the lab with him.

Peter missed Mr. Stark and there was nothing he could do about it.

_Praying to the Lord. _

_Praying for my soul. _

—

_Now please don't go. _

_Most nights I hardly sleep when I'm alone. _

Peter's eyes were unfocused as he looked up into the white ceiling. He remembered when Mr. Stark would freak when he climbed these walls and ceilings. Tears pricked at his eyes for the umpteenth time this week.

May was busy at work and when Ms. Potts found out, she invited Peter over for a sleepover. Both of them didn't realise that he couldn't sleep at night and could only stare into space until the exhaustion of the day finally caught up to him.

Even then, the nightmares plagued his dreams.

And Peter being Peter, he didn't want to bring any inconvenience to Ms. Potts, so he stayed awake to avoid the tears and screams and thrashing.

A beam of soft light flooded into the room when his door was quietly pushed open. Soft footsteps padded towards the bed, before a tony human clambered onto the bed, collapsing on top of him.

"Pete?" Morgan's soft voice brought him back into the room. He wrapped his arms around her small frame, keeping her close. He would protect her from all the harm that was going to come her way, even if it costed his life.

Peter brought his hand to wipe away a stray tear on Morgan's face. "Can't sleep?"

She pouted, nodding her head as she buried her face into the curve of Peter's neck. His laugh was humourless. "Me, too. Wanna sleep here, baby?"

He felt her nod against his neck and her tiny arms that tightened around his shoulders. The crack in her voice when she said "please," broke him.

He wished Mr. Stark was here. For him. For Morgan. For Pepper.

_Now please don't go, oh no. _

_I think of you whenever I'm alone. _

—

It was a genuine mistake. He completely forgot in the midst of his attack. And to be honest, he wasn't thinking straight. Besides, everything happened so fast...

Peter was in physics when it happened. They were doing some experiment when his panic attack happened. Completely uncalled for.

"Hey, Penis," Flash's curt voice did nothing to curb his panic. "Stop breathing so loud. Jeez, someone's working here."

Peter jerked backward, doubling over, gasping for air. He couldn't breathe. Couldn't breathe.

"Hey, kid. Be careful when you're doing experiments, okay?" He faintly remembers Mr. Stark's voice. He remembers his laughter, his hatred for lab coats, even though he insisted Peter wear one every time he was over.

He remembers the crinkle in Mr. Stark's eyes when Peter shouted in victory for finally completing his homework for the next month. He remembers Mr. Stark's burnt eyebrow when something caught on fire during their experiment.

He remembers Mr. Stark's calming presence during his panic attacks at the tower.

"... Peter?" He faintly hears students murmuring about his panicked state, his inability to breathe, his tears. He knows, somewhere in his mind, that he should answer the teacher-in-charge, but he physically couldn't move.

He screamed, scrambling away from the foreign hands that were on his shoulder. He needed Mr. Stark.

Peter could hear the teacher instructing students to get the nurse, but he couldn't process it. Instead, he was on the dirty lab floor now, folded into himself, gasping for air.

"Peter," came a firm voice. "Can you call someone to help you with... this?"

With trembling hands, Peter took out the StarkPhone Mr. Stark gave him as a gift. He scrolled to Mr. Stark's phone and immediately dialled him.

"Stark's phone. Leave a message. Or don't."

The phone slipped from his hand, making a loud thud sound as it hit the dirty tiled floor.

How could he forget?

Peter briefly notices the nurse come in and all the foreign hands on him as they carry him into the stretcher. By then, he was too numb to scream, to cry.

He felt nothing.

_I send so many messages you don't reply. _

_I gotta figure out, what am I missing?_

—

"Mr. Stark?"

"Hey, kid."

It was bright. But the soft glow somehow cascaded warmly around Mr. Stark. He looked immaculate. Angelic. Perfect.

"I'm dreaming," Peter said, stated like a fact. But that didn't stop him from approaching Mr. Stark.

He opened his arms as an invitation and Peter couldn't hold himself back any longer. He scrambled into his embrace, melting into his mentor's body.

Mr. Stark squeezed him close, and they stayed like that until Peter whimpered. "I can't stop thinking about you."

_I think of you whenever I'm alone. _

_So please don't go. _

"You don't have to, kid. I'm always here with you," Mr. Stark pushes him to arms' length, left hand over Peter's heart in the iconic spider-man sign.

He gives Peter his genuine smile. The one that the press never got to see. "I love you, Pete. And I'm still here with you, so there really isn't anything for you to worry about."

"And Morgan?"

"Of course I'm watching over her. But she has you to protect her, right? Big brother Pete to her rescue?" Mr. Stark chuckled heartily. "My baby's saviour. _My_ saviour."

Peter looked up at him in surprise. Him? Ironman's saviour?

Tony said nothing more, pressing a hard kiss to Peter's cheek.

And Peter woke up, right beside Morgan. Both of them safe and sound.


End file.
